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Caregiving for a family member who has a chronic health condition is taxing for even the most resilient individuals. If you are a family caregiver, it is essential for you to take steps to support and maintain your own wellbeing.
With the aging of the U.S. population, more people find themselves in the role of caregiver for an older adult who has a chronic health condition such as dementia, physical disability, cancer, and other serious illnesses. Consistently, those in a caregiving role report high levels of stress. This stress is compounded for those individuals who have careers and families of their own.
Whether the caregiving role is one you’ve prepared for and willingly taken on or is something that comes as a surprise addition in an already busy life, the stress of caregiving is very real. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prevent caregiver burnout and support your own wellbeing, including
1. Create a Support Network
It’s essential to build your support network early in your caregiving role. Look for support groups offered through local hospitals, libraries, area agencies on aging, senior centers, and mental health advocacy organizations. Through these groups, you will find helpful resources, guidance for dealing with difficult situations, and the invaluable insights of those who have already navigated caregiving challenges.
2. Ask for Help
Knowing where to find, and having access to support is not the same as asking for help. If you are overwhelmed, showing signs of caregiver stress (see below), then you must put ego aside and ask for the help you need. Your loved one’s medical provider or patient advocate froma local hospital or support group is a good place to start.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is not only for people who meditate. You can learn to bring mindfulness strategies into daily life—from folding laundry to walking the dog. You can also cultivate a formal mindfulness practice, which has been shown to significantly reduce stress, chronic pain, and symptoms of depression and anxiety. Many community programs such has yoga studios, parks and recreation, YMCA/YWCA offer mindfulness groups or look for a mindfulness-based stress reduction program for caregivers offered through a local hospital or medical arts organization.
Also, see the Zen Caregiving website for resources.
4. Self-care is Essential for Caregivers
There are three things caregivers can focus on to maintain their own wellbeing: sleep, balanced nourishment, and daily physical movement.
Sleep is essential to overall health and wellbeing. During sleep, the body recovers, heals, and develops innate resources to support how we live, work and play during waking hours. One sure sign that you are getting sufficient sleep is waking-up feeling refreshed and restored. If you don’t awake most mornings feeling this way, then you may want to create a sleep routine. A healthy sleep routine includes going to bed and waking the same time each day; using room darkening curtains; lowering the room temperature; and not using digital devices in the bedroom with the hour before going to sleep.
Balanced nourishment means including a variety of real, whole foods in your diet—and enjoying sweets and treats in moderation If you eat mostly packaged and boxed foods, your body is not taking in the vitamins and minerals and fuel nutrients (carbs, protein, healthy fats) that it needs for optimal function. Without a balanced diet, you will feel the effects of stress more sharply and you are likely to throw-off your sleep routine, which compounds stress. If you need some guidance on healthy eating to support your caregiver role, local hospitals and wellness centers usually offer nutrition workshops.
Physical Movement – While vigorous physical activity a few times a week is ideal, it may not be realistic for you as a caregiver, to get 3 or 4 workouts in a week. Instead, aim for daily physical movement that gets your heart rate up for 30 minutes. This can be a walk, bike ride, working in a garden, yoga, taking a fitness class, or turning on music and dancing in your living room. Movement releases hormones that help support a positive mood, strengthens and tones the body, and helps relieve stress. Find something you enjoy and move every day!
5. Know the Warning Signs of Caregiver Stress
The stress of caregiving puts the caregiver at risk for health problems such as burnout, anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, headache, sleep disturbances, and relationship tension. Warning signs of caregiver stress and burnout can include:
If you are experiencing symptoms such as these, it is imperative to seek support and medical guidance so that you can recover your wellbeing and continue to be of support for your loved one.
These are just a few of the many approaches to self-care for caregivers. Additional resources can be found at Mayo Clinic and the Caregivers Actions Network.
If you find the caregiver role has become more burdensome than you can manager and still maintain your health and wellbeing, it may be time to consider other options for your frail loved one. Everbrook Senior Living offers support in helping you make this decision along with the resources and options necessary for placing an elderly older adult in assisted living care.
When it comes to Halloween, you’re never too old to pretend to be something or somebody else! Older adults, and their caregivers, can enjoy a safe, fun, and memorable Halloween through a variety of activities.
The Halloween activities we’ve chosen for older adults are not only fun, they provide several benefits including:
Taken together, these benefits support an older adult’s social-emotional and physical well-being, can provide moments of meaningfulness, and foster a sense of belonging.
The activities on our list are easy enough for you to bring to your older adult family member at their home, or set-up as a group activity at a senior living community or local senior center.
Cook-up a Scare: Shrunken Head Apples & Apple Tart Pie
Any cooking experience involves a variety of mental and physical tasks. First, there’s thinking that goes into planning and preparing the recipe. Some recipes require a little physical stamina and dexterity during preparation (ex: standing to cut, chop, mix, and serve).
We chose Shrunken Head Apples because this is a non-edible cooking experience that results in Halloween memento that will last up to a few years! It’s perfect for creating memories with friends, family, and especially with the grandkids. It has many steps involved and is ideal for the kitchen in a senior living center or your home. For an edible favorite, that’s healthy too, check out this Shrunken Head Apple Tart Pie recipe.
Deck the Haunted Halls with DIY Halloween Decorations
One doesn’t have to be an artiste to enjoy making Halloween decorations. From simple paper bat garland to no-carve face-painted pumpkins and wickedly simple-to-make door decorations, there are many safe and fun decorations for older adults to make. Once you have a great selection of decorations, put them up around the house--or deck the haunted halls of the senior living community!
Halloween Trivia & Scary Movie Night
This is perfect for those who don’t enjoy crafting, but want to revel in the spirit of All Hallows Eve. The tv shows movies listed range from horrifying classics to humorously haunting…something for every taste and every age.
For older adults who don’t enjoy scary-movie marathon, break out the trivia games. Always fun, always entertaining, trivia games tend to bring everyone out of the dungeon to play! Play can be set-up for individuals going head-to-head or competition between teams (be sure to have some fun, and funny, prizes for the winners).
There are many haunted trivia games on the market that you can adapt to suit your audience and game format. Search online for more info on these (or other) games: The Halloween Game Trivia Book, Trivial Pursuit: Halloween Edition, and even some of the Halloween trivia sets made for teachers of school-age kids or this spooky trivia set from the Today Show.
Halloween Costume Ideas for Older Adults
Last, but not least, is to dress-up in a Halloween costume that is safe and fun for an older adult. The ideas we share here are easy to put together from clothing seniors already own, or can modify, or can be found with a little savvy shopping.
If these ideas don’t fit your vision for your haunted alter-ego, by all means bring out the horns, fangs, and broomsticks for a more traditional Halloween costume!
Ahh…Autumn in New England. It’s the perfect time of year to fall into the pages of a good story.
What’s your reading pleasure? Is it a heart-pounding thriller or a poignant romance? A perilous adventure story or a hilarious whodunnit? Maybe you’re one for historical fiction or true crime?
No matter the genre, stories are a powerful vehicle for transporting you out of real time and into imaginative places and encounters. But there’s more power in reading than just spurring the imagination: Older adults who are avid book readers are doing a lot to support their health—and they may live longer lives as a result!
Spoiler alert: Don’t miss the book list—featuring dynamic older adult characters, provided at the end of this post!
Book Reading Supports Good Mental and Physical Health
Reading books can enhance both the mental and physical health of older adults in a variety of ways. The benefits presented in the list below come from research that focused on reading books. Magazines and newspapers are a different type of reading experience; while that type of reading has its own benefits, it is not necessarily the same as when reading books. In fact, when comparing people who read books to non-book readers studies show something very interesting: Book-readers have a 20% lower risk of mortality compared to non-book readers. Essentially, book reading adds years to your life span! Here are some of the other important ways reading supports older adult health:
Reading Books as Therapy: Bibliotherapy
You might have heard from someone, or even stated yourself that reading is therapeutic. Now, there is research to back-up the therapeutic value of book reading.
Bibliotherapy is a creative arts therapy devoted to helping an adult or child move through challenging emotional and life experiences. Using books, primarily, but also poetry and picture books; fiction and non-fiction alike, bibliotherapy provides therapeutic, educational, and developmental support with the goal to improve wellbeing, both overall, and in specific situations (school, work, home, social situations, etc.). It can be used when people are recovering from illness, surgery, a traumatic event, as well as when learning to cope with changes to emotional or physical health.
Five Types of Bibliotherapy
You might find yourself engaged in informal bibliotherapy upon learning about a new medical diagnosis, or if you are part of a support group for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease, or if you are part of a reading group or other type of interest group in your community.
The benefits of bibliotherapy go beyond the benefits of book reading, in general, including but not limited to: helping to reduce clinical symptoms, improve social functioning, reduce loneliness/isolation, instill hope, foster creativity and problem solving, and support recovery.
Books Featuring Older Adult Characters
Having the opportunity to read books that feature characters similar to ourselves as well as those with life experience different from our own is one of the unique features of the reading experience. We asked a few librarians, and we discovered some terrific online resources, to curate this book list—all featuring older adult protagonists, villains, and sidekicks.
Romance
An unlikely friendship—and something more—blossoms between the retired Major, a proper Englishman and Mrs. Jasmina Ali, the Pakistani shopkeeper from the village. But can it survive village gossip and the risks one takes when pursuing happiness in the face of culture and tradition? NY Times Book Review
Mrs. Bertrice Martin—a widow, some seventy-three years young—has kept her youthful-ish appearance with the most powerful of home remedies: daily doses of spite, regular baths in man-tears, and refusing to give so much as a single damn about her Terrible Nephew. Then proper, correct Miss Violetta Beauchamps, a sprightly young thing of 96 (ahem, “nine and six”), crashes into her life. When you’re of a certain age, your take on life looks a lot different and Mrs. Martin is going to have the adventure of a lifetime doing things and exploring relationships on her own terms. Author’s Website
Comedic
In this series, Oceans 8 meets The Golden Girls! The Senior League—five residents of the Diamond Retirement Home—Martha, The Genius, The Rake, Christina and Anna-Greta—turn to a life of crime. You’ll be laughing all the way to the end as you follow this cracker-jack gals through three books in the series. Learn More
Suspense
As the story in this book opens, there’s a retirement-community caper in process. A missing neighbor. A shiny, mysterious object left in place. A photograph that goes viral and an identity long kept hidden faces risk of being exposed. And the dead body pops-up eventually. Things are not always as they seem, and this story quickly evolves into a deceptively dark mystery.
More at Foreward Indie Book Reviews
Horror
Written by one of the masters of the genre, this gothic-horror tale centers around a single question asked by the four elderly men of the Chowder Society: “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” The question drives the men as they meet to share intensely chilling ghost stories and consume expensive cocktails. But are these stories more than fiction? A chain of mysterious events and death hangs over the Chowder Society. But whose to blame for the suicides and “accidental” deaths that surround them…is something sinister at work? Or is the past finally catching up with the men of the Chowder Society? More books like this at Nightfire
Mystery
There’s no other way to describe this book of connected stories than to repeat what Kirkus Reviews wrote: “Five connected stories about a murderous old Swedish lady.” Each tale of main character, 88-year old Maud’s misdeeds (murder, even!) doles out a dose of “senior justice”.
Dick and Dora Zimmerman from are sixty-something crime solvers, specially those of the murderous type. You know, like when a dead body body turns up in an ice box with a note that says, "contents rotten." The Zimmermans are lovable characters with the time, money, wit, and "chutzpa” to get involved despite warnings from police and criminals to stay away. There’s a cast of characters-- residents of the condos where the Zimmermans live in Manhattan and Vegas, who all to eagerly seek Dick and Dora's help whenever foul-play is suspected. *adapted from the author’s website)
Resources for Finding Books with Older Adult Characters
We were impressed that across these lists there were very few duplicate books, So if you haven’t found a book you love among our resources, be sure to talk to the staff at Everbrook Senior Living Community about their book resources, book clubs, and special interest groups.
25 Books with Older Adult Protagonists. This list encompasses books written by authors from various backgrounds and featuring different cultural settings, storylines, and genres. You’re bound to find a few to suit your interest.
Midlife BookList on Facebook. Books that show what makes older adults get fired-up, ticked-off, and maintain their sest for life. These books (and there are a lot) reveal the many perspectives that seniors have on the second half of life—their hopes, fears and challenges, and all of it is weaved into a wide variety of storylines, settings, and dilemmas. From humorous to horrific, from all-to-close to real life to purely fantastical, there is something for everyone in this book list.
Must Read Books Featuring Mature Characters. This list features heroes and heroines having incredible adventures that will make you want to celebrate and empathize with them as you reflect on your own life’s journey. From feisty senior ladies and gents to salty old dogs and timeless romantics…there’s a character in these stories for everyone to love!
Learn More about the Health Benefits of Reading
Why Reading Books Makes You a Better Person, According to Science. Inc Magazine
Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life
When you were a kid, did you have a hobby? Whether you collected stamps, dolls, or comic books, repaired bikes or dabbled in model cars, you can probably recall your hobby ‘getting you in the zone’. Being so fully immersed in what you were doing that it was hard to break away to even eat dinner. When your former hobby comes to mind, it may bring up feelings of joy, satisfaction, and accomplishment. No matter your age, the positive feelings that arise from being engaged in a hobby contribute to emotional and physical well-being. Even if you haven’t had a hobby for many years, it’s never too late to find a new hobby and experience the health benefits.
Hobbies are a simple yet profound way to support an older adult’s health and happiness. A hobby can provide an outlet for creativity, an intellectual challenge, pure fun, and social engagement. When engaged in a hobby, we are immersed in a state of pleasure and detachment from the drama of daily life.
Some of the ways hobbies contribute to an older adult’s well-being include:
Now that you know hobbies are good for your health—what if you haven’t engaged in a hobby in a while—where do you begin? There are some very simple ways older adults can discover a new hobby. Before we tell you how to find a new hobby, let’s talk about your mindset with starting something new: The key is to not be afraid to experiment or to try new things. Step outside your comfort zone. For example, if you tend to be a homebody, consider a book club to get you out of your home and engaged with new people who share a common interest. Additionally, keep an open mind. Don’t give up after one try—remember that a hobby should be about the process, not the outcome or product (that would make a hobby feel like work!) Finally, don’t put pressure on yourself; give yourself permission to fail, and to start over again. Give it the good ole "college try" before you walk away from a hobby that just doesn’t feel like a good fit for you.
If you happen to live in an older adult community such as Everbrook Senior Living—or if you are thinking of moving to such a community—you’ll be glad to know there are many resources available to help you discover a new hobby in later life. From board game clubs to yoga classes, art studio to music or film appreciation... you’ll be amazed at the opportunities offered by a senior living community. And, as a bonus, if you’re already proficient with a particular hobby then make sharing your skill your next hobby! Many senior living communities love to have a resident volunteer to introduce and teach a skill to other residents with the same interest.
Are you looking for a senior living community with a robust social community, wellness program, and affordable luxury? Come visit Everbrook Senior Living to see all that we offer—and the sense of belonging our residents experience as they live, play, and thrive in our older adult communities across Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire.
Resources
National Institutes of Health: Participate in Activities You Enjoy As You Age
Penn State University, “Social Trends”: How Hobbies Boosty Your Health
“Laughter is the most inexpensive and most effective wonder drug. Laughter is a universal medicine.”
– Betrand Russell, philosopher (1872-1970)
No one really needs an excuse for a good belly laugh—right? But older adults sure have plenty of reasons to go out of their way for a good laugh. Laughing eases stress, promotes social bonding, helps lower blood pressure, and lifts your mood. Laughter also strengthens your body’s defenses against illness. The more you know about the health benefits of laughter, the more you’ll want to find ways to bring humor into your life!
Laughter and Health
The study of laughter and its effects on health has become an important topic in the field of psychoneuroimmunology. That’s a fancy word for the study of the way the mind (psych), the body (neuro/nervous system), and the immune system (immunology) interact when confronted by disease-causing agents such as stress, inflammation, or bacteria, and viruses.
What we’ve learned from research on laughter is…
How Does Laughter Effect Health?
The health effects of laughter are activated in two ways: First, and most obvious is laughter in the moment—so as you are laughing, wonderful things are happening in your body and mind. Second, depending on the individual and the extent of the funny moment, those effect can last for minutes and up to a few hours. Most researchers theorize that the more occasions for humor and laughter in your life, the greater the cumulative effect on health!
BREAK OUT item (like a boxed item): Do you remember the movie about the life of Patch Adams? Dr. Patch Adams was physician who embraced and modeled the restorative and healing benefits of laughter for critically ill patients. Now, “healing through humor” has a real place in medicine—not just for treating for the critically ill, but for routine healthcare, as well.
7 Easy Ways Older Adults Can Laugh More to Support Good Health
At Everbrook Senior Living Communities, our Wellness 4 Later Life program keep residents inspired to live their best life. We embrace a holistic approach to support your physical, social, emotional, financial, and spiritual wellbeing. From personalized fitness programs to movie and comedy nights to clubs and social activities, there are plenty of opportunities for living, learning, playing, and laughing!
We invite you to come see for yourself all that Everbrook has to offer. Call today to schedule a tour.
Talking to a teen about a family member diagnosed with dementia can be incredibly difficult for caregivers. The approach taken when you have this conversation can help your teen cope effectively with the news and empower them to preserve a meaningful connection with their loved one.
When to Tell a Teen About a Loved One Diagnosed with Dementia
For most teens, the family member with dementia will be a grandparent or older family member, but for some it may be a parent. Even if, at some level, a teen had some awareness that the diagnosis was coming, hearing it spoken aloud is a hard-hitting reality. It’s imperative to have the conversation as soon as possible after a diagnosis of dementia is confirmed, so that your teen does not find out “accidentally” from someone else in (or outside) the family; this would compound stress for all and may feel like a breach of trust to the teen.
Beginning the Conversation about Dementia with Your Teen
Be prepared for the fact that your teen will experience a jumble of emotions from shock and anger to grief and even shame. Many teens feel they can’t talk to their peers about such devastating news. It’s also not uncommon for them to feel like they can’t go to other adults in the family whom they may see as struggling to cope with their own emotions while trying to plan for the family member’s medical care.
First, plan ahead for when and where you will have the conversation. If at all possible, avoid having the conversation with your teen when they’ve had a lousy day at school, work, or practice. Give them some space at home to recover from their day and then invite them to sit down for a chat.
Second, manage your own emotions. Begin the conversation about a family member with dementia when you feel as centered as possible. Your teen will need your guidance and support; they should not feel like they have to support you. You want to create a safe space for them to experience whatever emotions come-up for them.
Third, be prepared to provide support. Make sure you have resources ready to share with your teen, should they need them. Of course, they can lean on you; also, be able to recommend other family members, community resources, or support groups. The teen probably won’t want this at that very moment, but you can tell them you have these resources ready for them, should they be interested.
What to Say to a Teen about a Loved One with Dementia
When you do speak share the news with your teen, be honest and open from the start. If a rapid decline is expected, let them know this. Be forthcoming with whatever knowledge you have about the family member’s diagnosis. And, remember:
Some teens will understand more about dementia than others. They may dive into researching information to better understand how their loved one will be affected. Others may not want to know any details about the diagnosis. These are both coping strategies. For most teens, it may be helpful to have a family meeting with the medical providers or medial support staff who can answer questions and provide more specific advice to help you teen cope.
What Can Your Teen Do Once They Learn of a Family Member with Dementia?
In the days and weeks that follow the news about a family member having a diagnosis of dementia, your teen may wonder how they should act around this person. What should they—or shouldn’t they—say or do?
Teens often will be concerned about how their own behavior may affect the family member with dementia. Additionally, the teen will be concerned about the safety and quality of life of the family member with dementia. This is a lot for a teen to think about on top of all the usual excitement and stress that comes with being a young person on the verge of adulthood.
Help Teens Stay Connected with a Family Member with Dementia
There are quite a few things that your teen can do to help them maintain meaningful interaction with their loved one who has dementia include:
If the teen does not live near the family member, these approaches can help them maintain connection:
There are many other activities that a person with dementia can continue, depending upon the degree to which the illness is affecting them. Be sure to check with your family member’s medical support team for specific suggestions.
As you and your teen navigate the care of a family member with dementia, encourage your teen to talk or journal about their experiences and emotions. When necessary, meet with a grief counselor as a family. And remember, as you demonstrate healthy emotions and model ways of maintaining connection, you will help your teen work through their own concerns and feelings about how dementia will affect their loved one.
Everbrook Senior Living Helps Families Cope with a Dementia Diagnosis
When it comes to the support a family needs to cope with dementia diagnosis, the staff at Everbrook Senior Living go above and beyond to provide resources and support for all. We, too, are son and daughters, nieces and nephews, of person’s who have been placed in long term care due to dementia. We are available and approachable – often giving out our cell phone numbers as we help families navigate challenges that come with declining health due to dementia. You can trust in our healthcare experience; you can count on our compassion. Learn more about our Memory Care services and our EGIS program.
Resources
Parent Guide to Helping Children and Teens Understand Alzheimer’s Disease
https://www.alz.org/documents/national/brochure_childrenteens.pdf
Alzheimer Society. Helping Teens Understand Dementia
When a Friend or Family Member Has Dementia: Resources for Kids and Teens
Fresh air and colorful fall foliage make the autumn months ideal for spending time outdoors. An excellent way for older adults to be active outside is to become involved with a volunteer project in their local community. When senior citizens become active in doing good deeds for others, their health and well-being improve!
Someone who chooses to do volunteer work does so because they believe it makes a difference for others who are having a harder time in life. Research shows that such altruistic behavior also makes the volunteer feel good about themselves. Volunteerism helps give a person a refreshed perspective on their own life and a sense of belonging to something greater than themselves.
Beyond just feeling good in that moment of doing a good deed, volunteering also has lasting effects on several aspects of an older adult’s physical and social-emotional health and well-being.
Older Adults Volunteers Experience Improved Social Well-being
The isolation that comes from not feeling a sense of belonging and having a community that one can rely on is detrimental for an older adult’s health. Seniors who spend too much time alone can become depressed and anxious, which can contribute to other health problems.
When older adults get involved with volunteer work they experience benefits for their social well-being, such as:
Older Adult Volunteers Have Enhanced Emotional Well-being
When older adults are active in their community, using their time and talent to give back to others, it reinforces a sense of urgency, brings meaning to their life, and helps them acquire perspective on how much living and giving they still have left to offer. The emotional benefits of volunteer work for older adults include:
Older Adult Volunteers Experience Positive Changes in Their Physical Health
In general, people who volunteer are more physically active; have lower rates of heart disease, depression, anxiety; and overall take better care of themselves.
A few of the many physical health effects that come from being engaged in volunteer work include:
There are many ways for older adults to become active volunteers in their local community. Everbrook community program directors are always looking for local events. You may also reach out to your local library, children’s home, or food shelter to see what type of help they need. Perhaps you have a hobby or skill from your professional experience that can benefit a local non-profit. Maybe you want to try something new; volunteering is a great way to learn a new skill! Find a cause that is meaningful for you and get involved—you’ll be helping others and helping improve your health, too!
At Everbrook, we believe that interdependence helps to preserve independence. We encourage our residents to become involved in their community, both at and outside of their immediate residence.
Our caring and dedicated team will help residents discover what is significant in their life. Residents, with as much support as is needed for their functional status, can become involved, active, and healthier through a variety of activities at Everbrook and in the community beyond Everbrook. The hub for these opportunities is our Wellness 4 Later Life™ program, which encompasses seven dimensions of wellness: physical, spiritual, emotional, social, intellectual, vocational, and environmental, as are advocated by the International Council of Active Aging.
If you are looking for a senior community where you'll experience mutual respect and support among residents, as well as a place where all residents experience belonging, and can find meaningful ways to be involved in life, then please visit an Everbrook Senior Living community today.
Resources
NationalService.gov. “The Health Benefits of Volunteering: A review of Recent Research.” Corporation of National & Community Service. Accessed 13 Oct 2018: https://www.nationalservice.gov/pdf/07_0506_hbr.pdf
Thebalancesmb.com “The 15 Unexpected Benefits of Volunteering that will Inspire You.” Accessed 13 October 2018: https://www.thebalancesmb.com/unexpected-benefits-of-volunteering-4132453
CreateTheGood.org “Health Benefits of Volunteering.” Accessed 13 Oct 2014: http://createthegood.org/articles/volunteeringhealth
Carlson, Michelle C., Erickson, Kirk I., Kramer, Arthur F., et al., “ Evidence for Neurocognitive Plasticity in at-risk older adults: The Experience Corps Program.” Jls of Gerontology: Series A, (1 December 2009) 64A:12, Pages 1275–1282, https://doi.org/10.1093/gerona/glp117
Residents in senior living communities often delight in receiving visitors, especially when those visitors include children. Even so, it can be quite difficult, emotionally, to bring the kids along to a long term care facility. With a little preparation, patience and compassion, a family’s first visit to an elder care community can be made meaningful for all family members—especially for the elder and grandchildren.
Your aging loved one, who is residing in long term care, may have changed a great deal as a result of their physical and emotional health. They may display different behaviors, personality changes, and memory deficits that even the most well-prepared adult can struggle to see. So, how do you prepare a child for their first visit with a grandparent who is residing in an elder care community?
Prepare the Kids Before they Arrive at the Senior Living Facility
A few days before the visit to see their grandparents or other aging loved ones who are in residence at a senior living facility, invite the children to sit down and talk about the upcoming visit. Start by asking the children what they remember most about this family member. Reinforce that those positive qualities and memories they have will always be in their hearts, and the elder’s heart, too. It just might be harder for grandma or grandpa to remember all of those wonderful memories.
Talking with Very Young Kids about a Loved One in Elder Care
For very young kids, under the age of 10, you’ll want to remind them of the physical and cognitive limitations the older adult has, but in simpler terms. Rather than giving the kids a long list of “Don’ts” (Don’t jump on grandpa, don’t try to dance with grandma, don’t leave your shoes on the floor in her room)… focus on the person they are visiting and the kind of caring attention they need from all family visitors:
Grandma is not as strong as you are. You are much younger. Remember to be gentle with your hugs and handshakes.
Grandpa is not able to run and jump and play like he once did. While he can’t play catch with you, he can play cards and board games. It would be nice to bring some games with us.
You know how we all forget things from time-to-time? (Give an example of forgetting items at the grocery store or leaving things at school) Well, Mimi’s memory is not so great anymore. That can happen when you get older and have SO many memories in your head. They can get mixed-up. She might even forget your name! Just remind her and try not to get upset that she forgot; she feels badly when she does not remember. Just encourage her to learn your name again while we are there and she may start to recall all kinds of great memories with you.
Sometimes granny or pappy gets easily upset if his things are touched or moved around. You know, how you sometimes get upset when someone takes your toy without asking. It’s a good idea to ask before you touch things in the room.
Remember not to give pap pap any food or candy, even if he asks for it. He has to follow a special diet that help his medications work best.
It is a good idea to let the children speak to the elder family member by phone a few times before you arrive. This may lead to any questions about how the grandparent sounds or speaks.
Talking with Older Kids about a Loved One in Elder Care
Children age 10 and up can handle more information, including basic medical information. You might say:
Nana has a medical condition called “_____” which affects her ability to (remember, walk, speak for long periods, breathe easily) and can make them feel (tired/easily agitated/sad).
Allow older kids the time to ask questions. If they are teenagers, they may be keen on learning more. You can research information online; the health association websites for particular medical conditions are a good place to start (Alzheimer’s Association, for example).
Regardless of the age of our children, always be honest with them and use age-friendly language. Remember to emphasize why your loved one is living in an elder care community and how their life is being made better (more comfortable, convenient) there because they live with other people in similar situations and can receive the daily living care and healthcare that they need.
Inform the Community of Your Planned Visit
This is a step that families don’t often think about when they visit a senior living or long term care facility with children. Yet, it’s important that the facility know the age of the children coming to visit and when you will be there. The facility concierge can inform you of the schedule of the day, may have tips to share about making the visit go smoothly, alert you to any events or gatherings at the community, and prepare you if there have been unexpected changes in your loved one’s health.
Some elder care communities will have a special area for families with young children to meet, especially if your loved one’s room is not spacious enough for more than a few people. These spaces can give young children a little extra room to roam, to observe, and to try to make sense of their grandparent’s new situation.
Plan an Activity
As mentioned above, it’s a good idea to bring an activity that your child and the elder family member can share together. Sometimes the community will have these things on site, as well. Bring an activity that will keep your child busy if they become uncomfortable or bored, such as a digital device, a favorite toy, or something else they really like to do.
Some other activities include:
If the weather is nice, plan to walk (or transport in a wheelchair) your family member outside for fresh air and conversation.
You might also bring pictures to serve as conversation starters and recollection of fond memories from days past.
A Word About Taking Photos
Of course, you want to capture memories with your elder family member. Do be prepared for the possibility that the elder or the children may not want to take photos. The elder may not want to be remembered as being ill. Likewise, even some teenagers have trouble seeing their grandparents in a weakened state and standing alongside for a photo may make them uncomfortable. Now is not the time to argue, but to accept their wishes and continue to have a happy visit.
Every Everbrook Senior Living community is intentionally designed to meet the needs of your elder family member in a compassionate, vibrant and caring atmosphere. From personal and health care needs to dining, recreation, wellness and therapeutic activities, your family member has access to all the services they need to experience the best quality of living throughout their older adult years. All of us here at Everbrook understand what it means to care for an older adult, both those in good health and those whose health is in decline. We are committed to providing a community for elders and their beloved family members where authenticity, trust, compassion, and respect are paramount.
If you are considering elder care for your aging loved one, contact us to schedule a visit at one of the Everbrook Senior Living communities.
Resources
Elder Care Alliance https://eldercarealliance.org/blog/tips-for-bringing-kids-to-visit-elder-care-communities/
Today’s Caregiver https://caregiver.com/articles/nursing-home-visits/
This month we are celebrating the health benefits of sleep for mind and body! National Sleep Awareness Week is March 13-19, 2022—it’s the perfect time for older adults to learn new ways to improve their sleep routine.
Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, adult sleep habits were affected in many ways. Some people slept more while others didn’t sleep enough. Many of us were tossing and turning through the night. Additionally, many adults got into some pretty poor sleep habits… staying up late or falling asleep in front of a mobile device.
Poor-quality sleep is detrimental to the health of the brain and the body. In fact, there’s 25 years of scientific research that supports the health benefits of good sleep hygiene for adults (and kids, too).
In order to understand the effects of sleep deprivation on our physical and mental health, scientists study how the brain and body respond when we don't sleep enough.
Insufficient Sleep Increases Risk for Illness
Insufficient sleep increases a person’s risk for chronic disease. When you get less than 8 hours of sleep a night on a regular basis you raise you risk for:
While You Were Sleeping: How Does Sleep Affect Health?
No matter your age, sleep effects brain chemistry and the hormones that circulate through your body. Put another way, sleep influences the functioning of the nervous, immune, and endocrine systems.
When you get sufficient, quality sleep a lot of amazing things happen in your body:
As you can see, sleep affects a lot of what goes in the body and how healthy (or unhealthy) your body can be.
Throughout the lifespan, the amount of sleep we need changes. Also, regardless of age, the amount of sleep you need is influenced by the quality of the sleep you do get, your activity level, and genetics (e.g., some of us really are night owls). Adults typically need 7 to 9 hours of sleep with older adults on the lower end of the range. A very physically active older adult might need more than a sedentary or less active older adult.
5 Tips to Help an Older Adult Develop and Maintain Good Quality Sleep
The following tips can help older adults maintain good quality sleep habits:
The Golden Rule for A Good Night's Sleep: You should only be in bed for two things—sleep and making whoopie! Any other activities performed in bed (reading, computer work, phone calls) can disrupt sleep hygiene.
A good guide for determining your sleep requirement is this: If you do not wake up feeling refreshed, you may not be getting enough, proper sleep.
Stay tuned next month as we'll be discussing how sleep deprivation in seniors can mimic signs of dementia. If seniors can't get better rest, and if symptoms don’t resolve it may be time to consult your doctor, and even consider memory care or assisted living services.
Sources
Gottlieb DJ, et al. Association of Sleep Time with Diabetes Mellitus and Impaired Glucose Tolerance, Archives of Internal Medicine. 2005 Apr 25; 165(8): 863.
King, CR et al. Short Sleep Duration and Incident Coronary Artery Calcification, JAMA, 2008: 300(24): 2859-2866. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19109114
Cohen S, et al. Sleep Habits and Susceptibility to the Common Cold, Arch of Intern Med. 2009 Jan 12; 169 (1):62-67.
Spiegel K, et al. Impact of Sleep Debt on Metabolic and Endocrine Function, Lancet. 1999 Oct 23: 354(9188): 1435-9.
This month’s topic for Gym Talk is "Heat Safety Awareness".
Hot weather can be dangerous, and seniors over the age of 65 are among those most at risk for heat exhaustion. Now that the hot weather has arrived it's important to know the signs of heat exhaustion and how to stay cool.
The human body regulates temperature through sweating, until exposed to more heat than the body can handle. As you become older the ability to notice changes in your own body’s temperature decreases. Others at risk for heat illness include infants and young children, people who are ill, those with chronic health conditions or on certain medications, and people who are overweight. Health conditions can make the body less able to adapt to the heat. Also, some medicines can contribute to dehydration.